When I was in my second year of medical school, a third-year student came to speak to our class about being on the wards. (The student is now a vice chair in emergency medicine here in California.) He gave an animated talk about how important it was to recognize that when residents, attendings, or nurses hollered at us on our clinical rotations, 99% of the time, it wasn’t personal; they were just experiencing stress associated with patient care. He likened the situation to Boston traffic – how drivers lean on their horns for little cause because they are simply frustrated about their days.

It’s not personal, he said. What great advice.

I say the same to my clients. I’ve had applicants complain that faculty were wholly unprepared – reading their applications for the first time during the interview itself. Remember: It’s not personal. This process is arduous, and most candidates, faculty, deans, and program coordinators are tired and doing their best, especially in a pandemic. When things are rough, give others the benefit of the doubt. It will help you get through this anxiety-producing process with your sanity intact.